How to Write a Love Letter to Win Your Wife’s Heart

by Gina Parris


How To Write a Love Letter

It’s been said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, (hmmm) but I am convinced the way to a woman’s heart is through her ears! A letter that conveys true love will last forever for her.

Today I am copying some of the recent interview I had with Dustin Riechmann of Engaged Marriage. He was one of our guest experts on the Love & Sex Tele-summit. I am excited about the tips Dustin shared here. You can learn a lot more from his amazing little Ebook – the 15 Minute Marriage Makeover.  I already have some of the ideas penciled into my calendar and I shared the book with my husband, WHO IS COMING HOME TOMORROW!! I can’t wait.

So here is an excerpt from the Love & Sex Summit. This portion is about the love. The next part of the interview was about sex. 🙂

Gina: Dustin, how are you?

Dustin: I am doing fantastic Gina. Thank you very much for inviting me to be part of your telesummit here. I’m very excited to hopefully share some very practical and powerful tips for everybody.
Gina:  Yes, I like that about you. You are really practical and my husband is an engineering type guy also, although he jokingly says that he got a” football player” engineering degree or something.  I’ve noticed in your blog that you’re actually a pretty romantic guy at heart and so, one of the things that I enjoy is your tips about writing a love letter. Many people, especially the men find this idea overwhelming. So for those of us that don’t feel like we’re great at communicating, would you share some of your tips ‘cause I do cherish the box of cards that I’ve received over the years from my husband.

Dustin:  Yeah, absolutely. I think a lot of people overlook a romantic love letter and the power of that, and I think as guys were always real intimidated by it, and one thing I like to do is think back to the early days when you’re dating either your current spouse or back into high school. I think a lot of us can relate to the love note thing, and that was a way that I know I communicated with girlfriends back in my early days of dating.  But I think also there’s a lot of power in that. My wife and I still have some of those earlier love notes that we exchanged in our dating years in a shoe box, and it’s just a great keepsake. So, I think there’s a lot of value in it and I think you can break it down very simply.
And so, I ‘ve got a five-step process that I share especially for you guys. I mean, here’s the engineer coming out right?

Gina: Yes! Okay fellas, get a pen and paper.

Dustin: So, the first step I say is just relax and that meaning you’re talking to your spouse here. There’s really no pressure and chances are you haven’t written anything like this recently. So, anything is going to be better what you’ve done. So, there’s really no pressure here. Just simple and heartfelt, I think is the real approach to doing this.

Number two is reflect. So, all that is, you sit around for five minutes and really just think about some special memory or something that you’d like to share and I think for a letter, it makes it really easy if you just come up with a simple theme. So, say it’s your anniversary maybe you want to compare your first kind of crazy year marriage to how you feel right now. So ten years later maybe you feel even closer than you did in that first year. On a birthday, maybe you think back of your favorite memory that you guys shared over the previous year. So just reflect and think of a simple thing to write about.

The third step is to rough it out. So, just sit down and just jot some short phrases about that theme. So just let your creativity flow a little bit. Again, you’re not worried about all the details and it makes it really easy. The fourth step is to write it out and I say write with your hand meaning most of us are so condition to using our thumbs on our phone or our keyboard at our computer. We can almost forget how to write with your hand. But I think a handwritten letter can just be super impressive and super romantic, because it’s so unusual. It’s something that we just don’t see anymore, and I know say your spouse is overseas are not someone that you can just handed to. I think that’s again, the impact of receiving a handwritten letter in the mail can be pretty fantastic and then…

My last tip I say is recite and that just means to read it out loud.

Again, it’s a letter but there’s a lot of power, and actually reading this out loud to your spouse eye to eye, and I say that only because my wife and I experienced this as part of marriage retreat few years back, and I wrote it out and I thought this is a special and she’ll like this. And then, when I found out I had to read it to her, actually I got  really nervous which is bizarre when you had several children with someone and you share every intimate detail.


But going through that experience, we both ended up exchanging tears, and it turn into a really deep conversation. It was just so much more powerful, because we had to sit knees to knees kind of eyes to eyes and share our thoughts. So, those are the five steps; relax, reflect, rough it out, write it out with your hand and recite it.

Gina That doesn’t sound so hard and I have to say, we’ve never done that read aloud tip and I love it. I can see how it makes you kind of vulnerable, which is very attractive!

Dustin: Yeah.

Gina: Okay. So, next time everybody, instead of just handing over the letter or the card, open it it up and read it to your gal. You will make a huge impact!
Dustin: Absolutely, yeah.

For more fabulous tips towards a 15 Minute Marriage Makeover, be sure to download Dustin’s ebook.

Click here to view more details


Also, you can see a link at the top of the blog to the Sexy Summit. The replays and transcripts are available to purchase!

Let me know what secrets you have for keeping a marriage sizzling along!






Gina Parris is an international speaker, performance coach, wife, mother of four, and a champion for the Sexy Marriage. She is dedicated to helping people heal their sexual and relational issues. Throughout the past 28 years, Gina has served on staff of several large churches and encouraged thousands of people -privately, in groups, through television, radio and other media. She also speaks to organizations on topics dealing with home and work balance. Gina combines the best of Sports Psychology, Energy Therapy and Biblical promises to help people enjoy a Love Life marked by victory.

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