People ask me all the time how to spice up their marriage, how to revive their sex life & how to stop being so bored with their spouse. You know I am eager to point you to great resources for sexual upleveling, BUT there is something deeper that we might consider today – and it has to do with your life that’s bigger than your sex life.
HOW TO TRULY TRANSFORM YOUR LOVE LIFE
BY Gina Parris
What if the reason you are BORED in your marriage is not so much about your mate and even your SEX life, as it is about your LIFE life; you know, your life OUTSIDE of sex & marriage? You and I are created to live a life – that matters, that burns with a passion that gets us OUT of bed in the morning.
You can find your soul is satisfied whether you have any of your appetites met regularly or not. Whether you eat a lot or a little, whether you drink a lot or a little, whether you sleep a lot or a little, whether you have sex a lot or a little (ouch, I know – but lets keep going) you can be exhilerated, even when you’re spent.
Here’s a secret -no a PARADOX to such energy. There is a key to ending the boredom and finding the real spice of life. It is bigger than pleasure. I dare say it’s even bigger than passion.
We don’t even really have a word for it, but my friend Joel Fortner recently called it The Burden.
The burden is that burning desire you have to give yourself away to make a difference. Not everyone has the same burden. You can’t force your burden on someone else or they just feel pushed and resentful.
Your true life-giving burden causes you to look at some specific injustice, pain or problem, and rear your powerful voice. There is something in the world that hurts so badly that it touches you deeply. Then indignation rises in every cell of your body to scream, “NOT ON MY WATCH!”
What is it for you? What is so unacceptable to you that you MUST make a difference? Embrace it and you will come alive.
For me there are several things, but one of them is the pain of sexual and relational dysfunction. I can’t stand to think of people weeping, aching and throwing away relationships that were meant to give life forever.
That’s why I will risk embarrassing myself to talk about uncomfortable sexual issues and solutions, when I’d just as soon talk about sports.
That’s why I made a program called The Sexy Marriage Solution – because I KNOW it works, even if it causes me to be labeled too “New Age” by those who don’t understand it.
It’s why I’ll share my faith, even if it means I seem too “Christian” for those who can’t hear it.
In the end, your burden and mine are not ours to bear, to make us popular. They are part of the most fulfilling life. We are here to serve the ones we are meant to serve. If we don’t, people suffer needlessly, and we find ourselves bored, restless and irritable – for reasons we can’t explain.
When we discover that the secret to living really is giving, it changes everything. We want to become strong to give of our strength. We find ourselves glowing from inside with a fire.
That fire – is what attracted you to your mate. That fire is what attracted your mate to you. That fire in your marriage is both pure and erotic, but it’s never boring. It gives. It receives. It grows. It challenges. It plays. It makes love. Feed THAT fire.
You don’t have to be charged with world domination. Just serving a neighbor is a good place to start.
Look around. The world needs you. Lean IN to the struggle. Take on a challenge – not as a martyr, but as a leader. Then bring that leader, that BEST in you, to your mate.
You can stoke the fires of your every day life, without neglecting your love life. Sex is truly hottest between two people that know they have a cause worth fighting for.
Enforce the victory.
I believe in you!
P.S. If you agree with this post but still feel like your sex life needs practical help – than by all means, go grab The Sexy Marriage Solution
Gina Parris is an international speaker, performance coach, wife, mother of four, and a champion for the Sexy Marriage. She is dedicated to helping people heal their sexual and relational issues. Throughout the past 28 years, Gina has served on staff of several large churches and encouraged thousands of people -privately, in groups, through television, radio and other media. She also speaks to organizations on topics dealing with home and work balance. Gina combines the best of Sports Psychology, Energy Therapy and Biblical promises to help people enjoy a Love Life marked by victory.