Photo credit: Grafixar from morguefile.com
Last week we talked about how to be happy with your self. This is the most important key to loving other people, having successful relationships and just being nice to have around. The key is to first be happy inside without expecting other people to MAKE you happy.
But what about those people that drive us nuts? How do we be happy with them? After all, the natural inclination is to want to CHANGE those who rub us the wrong way. Surely for the good of all mankind, they should simply be more like us, right?
1. Accept them just as they are
The thing that you can’t stand about them in some way probably represents something you do like about your self, so start with acceptance. You’ll find your self happier!
2. Realize they are not being the way they are to intentionally ruin your life
Some people just genuinely vibrate on a different frequency than you. Stop taking it personally. You’ll wear yourself out!
3. Look for something good about them
Truly we usually find what we are looking for. If you set your mind on finding what is good about other people two things will happen:
a. You will find them to be more likable
b. Surprisingly, you’ll feel better about your self. Try it – you’ll be happier!
4. Try mirroring their facial expression, their body language, their breathing and their tone of voice.
Now I don’t mean to look like you’re making fun of them, but simply to experience life in their skin for a moment. If you slow down and copy their physiology intentionally, you may feel an amazing empathy. I do this with children when I’m finding myself tuning them out.
Life is too short to waste it by stewing over what is wrong with everybody else. When we do that we make ourselves miserable, and that negative energy puts others on edge too. We can be happy around other people even when they are nothing like us. When we learn this, we can grow and learn from anyone.
Try it! And please share your tips and thoughts below. As you do, I’ll be right here –
In your corner,
Gina
Gina Parris is an international speaker, and performance coach who is passionate about helping people win big at home and at work. Get her free mini-course in the box on the top right of this page.
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I have learned that a smile can break so many barriers even with people I just don’t understand. So my motto is to smile it improves your face value (Dolly Parton in a movie) also makes people wonder why you are so happy..
Hahaha! That’s a good quote from Dolly. I have fallen in love with her since moving to Tennessee and visiting her Dollywood. Thanks for sharing!
Great post! I used to get worked up because I felt like I couldn’t get through to people close to me. Then I realized that the best way to “change” someone is to connect with them first, then influence them through positive, non-judgmental actions that you’d like them to mirror.
Mikey!!! Thanks for chiming in. You DO have a way of connecting. I think one of the first things I ever saw of your was one of your underground youtube videos doing a killer HIIIT workout. Indeed, I’ll never be a Marine, but I can do a pretty good workout about now, which I know is not even what this article was about! Thanks for being you.
Mikey!!! Thanks for chiming in. You DO have a way of connecting. I think one of the first things I ever saw of your was one of your underground youtube videos doing a killer HIIIT workout. Indeed, I’ll never be a Marine, but I can do a pretty good workout about now, which I know is not even what this article was about! Thanks for being you.